If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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