Do vagina's smell?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
