is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
