You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
