you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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