All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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