Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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