I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
