WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm at about main and main street
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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