at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
