CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
