u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
