did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
