Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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