She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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