ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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