What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
