The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
