pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
