i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
