with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Who wears a wallet chain?!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
