my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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