How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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