So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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