My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
