Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hippo gnu deer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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