Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
