I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
