you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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