i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
