I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
