You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
