either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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