Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize
