You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
