Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You need Xanax blowdarts
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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