I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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