Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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