Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
