That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
