I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Terrible idea I love it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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