I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
