I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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