i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
