I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
