A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
