I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
