it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
