Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I will pee on everything he values.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
