Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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