Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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