thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
