he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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